You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's never too late to be topless.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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