the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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