A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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