okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
