I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
