1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
