I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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