okay pat passed out under dana's car
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
