Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize