How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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