North Korea, Best Korea!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
