shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
