i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
high people should be assigned attendants
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
