when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
