I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
