I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
