Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
