Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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