I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
