there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
