my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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