Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
