There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize
