What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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