Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
