I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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