"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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