But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
