I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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