i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
