it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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