At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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