just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
