we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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