you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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