You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize