you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
