batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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