youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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