I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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