I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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