You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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