why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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