he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
