like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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