I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize