Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
