I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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