all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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