Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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