whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
They have beer where we have blood.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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