Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
