I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
