Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
