thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
