i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
