he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
