things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize