whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
