were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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