There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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