Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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