Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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