Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
