Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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