last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize