Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
